I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
