Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
