i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
