She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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