So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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