HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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