do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
