six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
