they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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