I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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