I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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