im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
