Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
