I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
do nipples grow back?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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