Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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