but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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