Don't you send me to vm
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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