first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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