Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
