is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
