I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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