So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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