Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
