Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
