To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
