Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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