in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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