I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
