Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
