I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
