worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
