A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
