i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
