so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
