Buhtt sex?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
