Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
