I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
