Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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