oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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