a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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