He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it was like eating out sand paper
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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