windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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