i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
