is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
