I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
