Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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