Whatcha textin bout Willis?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She told me I should be a condom model.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
