I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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