when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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