I want to stick my p in your. b.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
