He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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